How Do I Move On?

It's been almost 3 weeks since Charles and I broke up.. Isn't it supposed to be easier after this much time? Aren't I supposed to start feeling something other than pain and heartache? I spent a year living with him. A whole fucking year of seeing him every  single day. Sleeping with him by my side, Laughing, giggling, touching, just being us. I literally feel broken. I feel lost. And to be honest, this feels harder than losing my dad and my abusive marriage combined. And I have no idea why. Everyone says, "Its just a guy. Just a relationship. There are more guys out there." -So what? He is the one I want. So why can't I be with him? I love him. It's as simple as that. My last post seems to contradict this one. I get that. So sue me. I'm just spilling my feelings here. That's all I am doing. And right now my feelings are pain, hurt, sorrow, alone, confused, mistaken. No feelings of happiness. I feel dark, and alone.