Diabetes - IM DONE!

For almost nine years you have put the biggest limitations on my shoulders and defined so many aspects of my life. I have tried to manage you, but I get so tired of it. I have no motivation anymore. I just want to be a normal girl, and live a normal life. I'm so sick of you. I hate everything about you. I hate your pokes and jabs, and how you make me sick and irritable or make me act like a complete fool. But what I hate is when people think they know what I go through because of you. I'm sorry, but unless you live with this nuisance, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I'm nowhere near perfect when it comes to diabetes, and I never have been. But it has gotten to the point where I just don't care what happens anymore. I'm tired of being nagged, I'm tired of appointment after appointment being told that drastic improvement is needed, I'm tired of hearing about all the complications, they just piss me off and make me want to smack someone for even putting the stupid thought in my head. I know the risks, I know the complications, but it doesn't make it any better,and it doesn't make it go away. I have zero hope for a cure. Why? Because money is more valuable and precious than the quality of a human life. Companies will be out millions of dollars if any such cure was ever found. So why even think about it?
So all I'm left to do is wait. Wait until someone cares enough to end this.
But it never goes away and it never takes a break.
I dread going to the doctors, because I already know what they are going to say, and even if make the slightest improvement, it will never be enough. It's a slap in the face, and a constant reminder that I will never be good enough.
I'm tired of no one understanding. No one telling me that it will be okay, and that I can do it. Instead I have all those telling me that it's not that hard, I just need to work more. 
I wish they knew how hard it is, and that sometimes I just would rather give up completely than go another day with this stupid disease. I would give it up. If I had the chance to go back and change it. I would in a heartbeat, I wouldn't even hesitate.
You may say I'm weak, but so be it. I can't handle it anymore.
The best I can do is try, no I may not be the best diabetic, but I don't want this to have control over me.
I want to be stronger, I just don't see how I can.